Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Motherhood 2.0

The thing about having a baby is that suddenly you live in a dichotomy of having all the time in the world and yet no time at all. The majority of my time is now spent sitting, holding a nursing baby or standing, trying to rock her to sleep. Which requires a little creativity at times when sitting just isn't an option.

So, it is much of my day sitting and looking at all the things that need to get done and unable to even think of actually doing it. It also means that in the few precious moments of freedom I hurry to do laundry, cook dinner, take a shower, or help my five year old with this that or the other thing. I only ever get to pick two.

Most of the time my choice is made for me.

Honestly, if I could choose, I would be happy to just sit all day and hold this precious baby. Stare into her big blue eyes and make her smile over and over. It is the highlight of my day and what solidifies all the hard work in bringing her here. As much as I would like to, life carries on at its perfectly normal rate, dragging me reluctantly along with it.

Days that were once started by list making and followed by working my way through them are a thing of the past. Laundry has become my war, and I am losing. Solitude is almost non existent and are precious.

I have a cup of coffee, more than I should but still never enough. All of my time sitting often leads to involuntary sleeping. Alas, here I am. Not asleep, holding my baby and yet still able to type. My mind is too fuzzy to be a reliable judge, but it is what it is. It is life with a newborn, and I would not trade it for anything.

Cliche, I know. If only truth could be measured in how often it has been recited rather than churning into a meaningless quip to inaccurately describe the greatest moments of life.