52 Weeks: Weeks 1-3

The start of a new year is often a time of thinking forward, planning, goal setting, and resolving lingering issues that chase you from one year to the next. I love sitting down with a cup of coffee to plan out the upcoming year and set some goals. Drinking a hot beverage and making lists, those are happy moments for me.

One of my favorite bloggers just finished a 52 week project she worked on last year. While I don’t plan on doing exactly what she did, which involved photography, I like the idea of having a project that breaks down into weekly goals.

This is where all the goals and to-do’s that have been on my list year after year will finally get crossed off. However my to-do list does not even come close to 52 items [that would be insane!] so naturally I am going to make one. Included in that list will be all the things I have been putting off or meaning to do as well as other projects or crafts that I would like to see accomplished this year.

For this week, as it is technically the third week, I will share three projects.

1. Family Christmas Book

This book was a wedding gift that I found to be both ridiculously cheesy and charming. Still I have faithfully intended to fill it in every year. I know I will never be able to scratch this one off as finished [until the book is full or I die, whichever is first] but its been sitting in my catch up pile for years waiting for me to get Christmas pictures printed and pasted in the [up until now] awkward blank “place Christmas photo here” slots.

2. A Christmas Gift For A Friend.

Its almost the end of January and I still am working on a Christmas gift. Shame. I know, I feel it. I made a set of three signs for her kitchen and while the first two came together nicely and worked out well, the third I had some trouble with. I re did the lettering over and over and still it just did not work. So I had to start over with a different design, which in the end I like a whole lot better than my original plan.

3. Jar Candle

I saw this one on Pinterest years ago and thought it was cute- but to purposefully destroy a book? Seemed a little drastic. Then the joys of having a toddler boy became known as my son did the dirty work for me. Now, having an entire books worth of pages to use for art I  added this craft to my to-do list. Simple but cute.

Hopefully having an official project and posting it here will help me get these things crossed off my list! Because it’s time.

I am currently working on trying to fix issues with comments. If you leave a comment and I haven't replied, blame Google. I will try to get that fixed asap though! [Just try and stop me Google...]

I Don't Know This Place!

There’s something that has been on my mind a lot lately that I have been rather reluctant to broach. Not for any benefit to myself, because the truth is I want to talk about it, a lot. I mean a lot. However, whenever I bring it up in conversation others just don't seem as keen to talk about it. It makes sense, as it’s something personal and rather exclusive. Like the guy who is constantly making inside jokes, even if no one who gets them is present [you know the type].

It is tempting to use this platform to completely indulge myself on a topic others just don’t find interesting, which I think everyone would advise against, but being a rebel at heart I am going to do it anyhow! [Hopefully in a way that is not purely self-indulgent.]

So here’s the thing:

The city I moved to eleven years ago is completely gone.

Before you start googling for catastrophic events, allow me to clarify. The city still stands, but it has transformed so drastically that it is a completely different place now than it was ten years ago.

I grew up in a very small village town in Colorado. For the twelve years I lived there, there were two drastic changes in the town. The first was that they added a pizzeria to the small grocery, and secondly, they installed a single stop light. These seemed like such huge monumental changes, altering the entire dynamic of the town.

So to now look back on the Chiang Mai I moved to all those years ago and see how much has changed and developed, it is rather astounding. Perhaps it is simply a sign I am getting old because I just want to talk about “back in my day when there were no pizzerias and this was just a dirt road...”

Perhaps it is because this city actually is growing and changing at an alarming rate. I cannot think of a single store or city block that has remained untouched. Or maybe it is simply the amount of Westernization that has taken hold.

When I first moved to Chiang Mai in 2002 there was a single Starbucks and two McDonald's. Now there’s at least seven Starbucks and almost too many McDonald’s to count. Pizza was available from only one company then. Now, just counting one mile from my house, I can count at least six pizza restaurants.

Eating at "Burito House" in the newly opened section of Airport Plaza in 2003.

The imported items available in 2002 were so expensive it was too impractical to buy. You could feed your whole family Thai food for $4, so it was difficult to justify spending $10 on a tiny personal pan pizza. Now, with inflation and the exchange rate in favor of the Thai Baht, that difference is narrowing. It isn’t so unreasonable to buy a block of cheese or a box of cereal. A box of Kraft Mac n’ Cheese is only $1 more than a cup of fried rice.

By no means am I complaining. It makes it easier to have some of the comforts of home easily available. It saves room in our suitcases not having to buy so many cake mixes or chocolate chips.

However. the last few months in particular have hit me heavy with the change. Huge, gigantic, face-lifting sort of change. Three giant malls opened bringing with them new stores and chains, ice skating rinks and even an IMAX theater. We now have Cold Stone and Toys R Us.

I walk through these new stores or sit down at a new restaurant and it feels surreal. I think of the restaurants and shops that have come and gone, places that were once so familiar and so much a part of my everyday life that have now faded into the background or are now something entirely different.

Just this week there was a fire at the oldest mall in the city. The mall that I practically lived at during my first few years here.

Posing with Ronald at the McDonald's at Airport Plaza

So, even though I still live in this city, it is not the same city that it was when I first experienced. Not even a little bit, and for someone who hates change, that is a scary feeling. So I mourn that time of my life that can never be revisited, that exists only in my memory. And I eat Cold Stone and Mrs. Field’s. I don’t think twice about having Starbucks and Subway just down the road. I no longer horde cake mixes or covet pizza. So really, its not all so bad...

What To Read This Year?

I was an awkward child, short with lanky arms and legs and more clumsy than I am even now [which is a lot]. I wore clothes much too big, that never seemed to match, and had yet to discover hair ties. So my short, cropped hair was always hanging down in my face.

So, it may come to no surprise to you that I was not particularly good at sports. Field day was a nightmare, and the ‘A’ team was no friend of mine. I was undoubtedly more of an academic from the start, and one thing I was good at, even excelled at, was reading. I didn’t need any challenge or motivation to convince me to read, but ‘Book It’ sure made up some for my lack of blue ribbons from field day. Needless to say, I got a lot of free pizzas.

Every year I make a reading goal [even if I don’t get free pizza anymore]. Making a list helps me remain focused throughout the year and cuts out the time in between books wondering what to read next. Last year my list was incredibly short, and I still didn’t finish:

Finish Wheel of Time

The Lord of The Rings

Les Miserables

I did squeeze in a couple not listed, but after Wheel of Time and Lord of the Rings I needed a break before committing to another long story. [Les Mis is like the Everest of book reading, and one day I will conquer it.]

For this year I went for a variety of books, mostly ones that have been recommended to me or that have been on my To Read list for far too long.

Here is my book list for 2014:

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I’m just finally getting around to this one. Having been a long time follower of the Green brothers on YouTube I have had great interest in reading his novels. Then Amazon had a sale and they got me with their one-click button. Such a dangerous button...

Divergent by Veronica Roth

This series has been on my wish list for a while. With the movie coming out this year I want to read the books before seeing it, and prior to all the hype. I try to read the books before seeing the movie version as a general rule. That way I am continually and thoroughly disappointed.

A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L’Engle

I definitely am not on top of things with new and upcoming novels. I guess when I’m not reading books by men long dead, I am reading books that others recommend. There’s just too many books to read to waste time on ones that aren’t good. This book was highly recommended to me and then was on sale. [that one-click button! I tell ya...]

If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland

I started this book sometime last year and really enjoyed the first chapter, which was as far as I got. It was written in the 1930’s but is still extremely relevant and useful for anyone who has an interest in writing or art. She has an edginess that is compelling and inspiring, and intrigues me about the kind of woman she was in her time.

At Home: A Short History of Private Life by Bill Bryson

I was visiting some friends and they had this book sitting on their coffee table. So, naturally, I picked it up and began to read it. This was before I discovered that I actually love history. This book captured me from page 1...or whatever page my friend had bookmarked. I made the splurge and purchased this one not on sale. Bryon’s style is captivating and hilarious. When it comes to history I can't get enough. And I want to know random facts such as how the French almost built a 900 foot Guillotine instead of the Eiffel Tower…

The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller

I discovered my favorite reading genres quite early in life, and I am guessing my love for apologetics and theology may have stemmed directly from growing up as a pastor’s kid? I don’t remember buying this book [seriously Amazon!] but its been sitting quietly on my Kindle for quite some time. This may be the first in this genre I have read from someone who is still living. [Did I mention I am a bit of a nerd?]

Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

This has been on my To Read list for ages! Plus I need a good fantasy novel to wrap up this list with. It is almost embarrassing to admit I haven’t read this yet. I barely know anything about the story, which is how I like it- I don’t even like reading the backs of books before I start a story. All I know is its about a boy who does magic in a fictional land and that is enough to pique my interest.

Reading has always been something I’ve loved and was easy to pour my heart into. I hope you are planning on diving into some good reads this year!

What’s on your book list for this year?

Christmas Is...

Sometimes I feel like Christmas is all about relaxing, spending time with family and making special memories- by way of adding a ton of extra work and busyness! After my Christmas Burn Out last year, my goal has been more of the former, hopefully without any of the latter. Being a Doer-of-All-the-Christmas-Things this is especially challenging for me.

So rather than curled up under the covers in the fetal position waiting for Christmas to be over I’m hoping my Christmas [and yours!] looks a lot more like this:

What are some of your favorites?

Into the Pensieve: The Story of My Life

“Well, it really isn't worth telling, Mrs. Cadbury but if you let me tell you what I imagine about myself you'd find it a lot more interesting.” Anne of Green Gables

How do you choose which moments in your life define who you are today? How does a painter choose which colors to bring to the limelight and which to blur in the background?

Every person has a need of a place, somewhere that is truly home, a place of belonging. For me, that place will always be the Rocky Mountains. Never am I truly at peace, truly complete as when I stand in the mountains, surrounded by pines and aspens, the big open sky above me.

Sadly much of my life has been apart from my beloved mountains, instead I've been placed in a jungle-y valley. Sticky rice and fish sauce became staples in my diet and words like “sabai” and “aroi” were adapted into my vocabulary. The mountains opened my heart to truth, living in Thailand opened my eyes to it.

The jungle isn't all bad, really

Pizza became a rare and exotic meal, and the joys of city life became known to me. Malls and public transportation. Crowds and bazaars. Food stalls and dysentery hand sanitizer, now all constants in my life.

Snow was no longer an annoyance, but something I dreamed and longed for. Snakes, roaches and centipedes became dreaded but all too common. I became an adventurer.

My heart was suddenly and irrevocably split into two parts.

I was still forever a silly love-sick girl, hoping for prince charming to come along and rescue me from my perils. My heart was fickle, and I was caught heavily in a one-sided love. My life had more drama and love circles than Days of Our Lives, and poor decisions after poor decisions were made.

Midst the rebellion were some of the most profound and real experiences of my life. Painful, rich, awe-inspiring. Tarnished then polished then tarnished.

I quit Thailand and returned to my beloved Colorado. I bought my first car and got my first job. I discovered the joy of weekends, and the pains of a regular job.  I quit Colorado and returned to my beloved Thailand.

Then the most unexpected thing of all happened. For, quite literally, the first time in my life I found no joy in the prospect of meeting a guy and falling in love. I stopped looking and stopped wanting to be “found”.

Here we are, all young and blurry

So then, how this became the optimal time for the man who would become my husband to enter the picture must remain a story for another time. [muahaha!]

With marriage and becoming a mom I discovered a love that words cannot describe and an ugliness that I would rather not have known of myself.

The truth is I have always struggled to share my story, particularly my life story.  So I took on this challenge to share briefly [which turned out to not be so brief] the story of my life. I know I could have imagined far more interesting things for my life to be. But also far less interesting things. I know when I was 14 I could not imagine living anywhere but America and knew I would never live overseas.

This is vague and simple account but I look forward to more Journeys Into the Pensieve to share with you some moments from my life, good, bad or otherwise!

In the meantime, thanks for sticking with me in this endeavor!

Another One Bites the Dust

My long, and rather unexpected hiatus from blogging has really bummed me out. Well not only blogging but life in general.

Granted, I feel like I have a pretty good reason. Basically the last 3 months of my life have consisted of sleeping and sitting (in no particular order). Not only did my first few months of pregnancy leave me tired and nauseous but it also drained the life force out of me. I just did not have the desire or the will to do anything.

Now I am beginning to feel more myself. My brain still feels cloudy, and thinking is more difficult, but then again that may have nothing to do with being pregnant.

I am still a little leery about committing to a full comeback, as its hard to know what tomorrow will look like let alone next week but I can say I am going to put an effort into posting more regularly.

Thanks for sticking with me!

Christmas in July

So a few months ago I decided I was really going to take this blog thing seriously and start posting more consistently. Then, I actually started posting less frequently. Actually I have just been doing a lot less lately, partly due to putting more time and energy into exercising more and eating better, which has actually had a bit of a pay off!

Also the last several posts have been more serious, with me just sharing my heart, which I love to do- but it also intimidates me a lot. So, I am going to mix it up a little today and just share a few things that I am excited about.

Ender’s Game

Finally this amazing novel has been made into a movie. More often than not I hate movie versions of books [i.e. The Golden Compass, Eragon, etc] and there’s a huge chance that will be the case here. However, it is one of my all time favorite stories. So I will definitely take a gamble and go see it when it comes out.

The Civil Wars

They are soon to be releasing a new album, even though the band has split, it will be nice to have some fresh music from them. I pretty much listened to their last album to death, if digital music could be killed...

The Third Kingdom

This book is a sequel to a whole sequel series of Sword of Truth, which is one of my favorites. I guess I just really like sequels. This is what I keep hoping Rowling will do with the Harry Potter series. Sure, You-Know-Who is gone but I can’t believe there’s a shortage of evil wizards that need to be fought off. Not the point though, the point is at least one of my favorite authors is giving me what I want: more!

Christmas

I know, it doesn't make sense, but lately I have been really wishing I could turn up the Christmas music in a living room softly lit from excessive strands of lights hanging from the ceiling. Have hot chocolate and make sugar cookies. Maybe its because last Christmas I burnt myself out and didn't really enjoy it. Maybe its just cause I miss my family. I think iTunes can sense it too, it keeps popping up with Christmas music and sometimes I just let it play.

SAMWISEtheWADE

I have this friend who is super talented, and cool, and hilarious. She has a vlog and it is pretty great, so I’d highly recommend heading over to Youtube to check it out. I’ll make it super easy for ya.

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC60m9mK0Npx7HIWqWJViAUg

What are you excited about?